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Emotions

Are You the Best Friend You Can Be?

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Ladies Having TeaIn these days of Facebook friends, where people can have thousands of friends viewing and perhaps contributing to their lives, it can be difficult to not only remember, but also to appreciate the real, physical friends that inhabit our day-to-day world.

It’s becoming a bit of a cliché to admonish those of us (yes, I’m included too) who spend too much time on social media at the expense of maintaining our real flesh and blood relationships, but in many cases, social media has in fact provided a means for people to reconnect after years of little or no contact which in most cases is a good thing. [Read more…] about Are You the Best Friend You Can Be?

Throw the instructions away!

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fingerideaAre you one of those people who enjoys reading the instructions that come with a piece of put-together-at-home furniture or the instructions that tell you how to get the best out of your new phone?  It seems to me that we either fall into the category of feeling that to read the instructions is a necessity that will save time in the long term (and in my experience I think the numbers of these people rank at the lower end of the scale), or, are you like most people who throw the instructions away and just dive headlong into the task in the belief that you know best anyway?!

Three hours later when you’ve created a wobbly table and have half a dozen screws left over, you step back and look at your efforts and wonder why they sell such shoddy furniture!

But why do we do this?  [Read more…] about Throw the instructions away!

To Give or Not To Give – A True Story

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homeless1I’ve read that there is good evidence to support the premise that if you give to others in some way, it will enhance your own wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of the receiver.  On a purely common sense level, I have to agree with this because I seem to experience gratification when I give to someone and particularly so if I give to someone who I am very unlikely to see again (in other words, (s)he will have no way of repaying me).  I can float through the rest of the day when I feel that I have been kind and so the positives for me far outweigh the gift given.

I’m not sure what the science or psychology is behind this personal reaction (and really, I’m not that concerned to understand it), but I am the first to admit that I feel so much better about myself if I’ve been able to help in some way as opposed to the other option where I feel guilt for neglecting to help when I know I probably could have done so.

[Read more…] about To Give or Not To Give – A True Story

Reflect to Thrive!

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reflection1 It is a most mortifying reflection for a man to consider what he has done, compared to what he might have done.  Samuel Johnson.

Self-reflection is such an underrated and under-used method of personal growth, I believe.  Although, in fairness to anyone who hasn’t undertaken this ‘pastime’ to any great extent, I think there can be some very good reasons for this.

For example, we usually don’t want to revisit experiences that have been painful or embarrassing, dissecting them to find the gem of learning which would give us the key to moving on with some calmness or equanimity.  Instead, our self-reflection tends to get stuck on justifying our actions or finding fault in others – the ubiquitous blame culture which seems to pervade our society nowadays. [Read more…] about Reflect to Thrive!

Who are you hiding?

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maskI wonder why it takes us so long to finally acknowledge and allow the ‘real’ person within us to come forward?  Even more perplexing is why some of us never allow that person to come forward?  It’s a very, very personal condition, not least because from the outside most people wouldn’t know that the person they interact with is maintaining a façade.  This façade could be quite thin, maybe it’s the ‘professional face’ we keep on in a work environment or at the other extreme, there could be a thick veil of concealment through which the external observer cannot pry.

It’s natural to assume that if someone is concealing their real character that their personality or their intentions must be somewhat shady.  But, are there ever any good reasons why someone should conceal their true character? [Read more…] about Who are you hiding?

It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It!

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There are many obstacles to achieving our goals, from not really knowing what it is we want to achieve (a lack of real clarity on the outcome) to fear of failure or even success!  I have written about  many of the obstacles we may face in previous posts (just check out my link on obstacles, here) and today I’m going to expand further and take a look at what it really means to put in the effort to achieving our goals.  Before we start though, let me just say that if you’re on the cusp of starting out on your goal(s), you may find this post somewhat challenging or even an obstacle to starting!  Of course, I hope that’s not the case and that you find some value in the words that follow below. [Read more…] about It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It!