I think it’s fair to say that we often feel that our lives are beset with problems; those of our own making and those which turn up unexpectedly due to a series of events outside of our control which result in an undesired outcome. It’s also fair to say that some people view even trivial or routine “must dos” as problems simply because they don’t want to take the action required in order to alleviate the ‘problem’. Of course, the dilemma with this attitude is that the problem grows –sometimes for real, because without attention the issue gets worse, sometimes just within our minds, or sometimes both.
But despite all the negative connotations associated with problems, it was very difficult to find a string of quotes that maintained this negative stance! The nearest quote I found which could be interpreted as negative was this quote by Abraham Maslow:
If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
But even this quote from Maslow says more about our attitude to problems rather than the problem itself.
And it’s our attitude to our problems that really makes the difference, rather than the problem itself. As I’ve already mentioned in the opening paragraph, sometimes we treat even trivial or routine and expected tasks as problems. For example:
- Cutting the lawn
- Completing our tax return
- Planning what to cook for the family evening meal
- Redecorating the bedroom
They look something like this…
- “It’s always raining, how will I ever cut the lawn?”
- “I’ll never have enough time to do my tax return, the deadline always creeps up on me somehow!”
- “It’s always a problem trying to please everyone at dinner, they all want different things!”
- “I just don’t know where to store all my stuff while my bedroom gets decorated!”
These are small and/or basically routine tasks, but, we can allow them to take on the significance of a problem by over-thinking, delaying or moaning about them because we’d much rather be doing something else, or would like someone else to take responsibility.
But the crux of the issue with all things defined (by us) as a problem is that it requires us to make a decision, and this really is the nub of the matter.
Robert J Schuller sums it up this way:
Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made.
How often do we put off making decisions, even when we know it’s in our best interest to take action? We procrastinate, check it out with friends, run through different alternatives, procrastinate a bit more…and all because either we just don’t want to commit ourselves to the work involved or (more likely) we’re scared of making the wrong decision.
It can sometimes be understandable that we don’t want to commit ourselves to the work involved, particularly if it’s likely to be painful, onerous or time consuming. Maybe we don’t have the mental or physical energy to deal with the problem right now, but will delaying making a decision and taking action make things worse in the longer term? After all, taking even just a small amount of action now may offer some respite from the feelings of guilt and/or overwhelm.
As for not making a decision because we’re scared we might make the wrong choice, really there’s just one thing to consider. Will not making the decision (and therefore avoiding action) result in worse consequences than actually making any decision?
After all, since most problems will have many possible solutions (choice of actions), which by their very nature will result in many possible conclusions, who’s to say that one option is better than another? By taking action, a whole string of inter-actions will come into play which will affect the final outcome anyway.
In reality we can only make assumptions about what these inter-actions will be and the effect they will have, so trying to assess all the likely outcomes of a decision is likely to be of limited use. The only true gauge we have at this point in time is that of our indecision (inaction) and the results we are currently experiencing.
So, in light of this, why not just make the decision?
Having read the words above, do you still need a little convincing? If so, here are a couple of practical strategies that might help the process along.
Take a notebook and pen and write your answers to the following 10-step plan. It’s important to write your answers as you’ll gain extra clarity by separating the problem from the myriad of other thoughts which are on your mind.
1 Define the problem
Sometimes we just feel worried or overwhelmed as there are so many thoughts surrounding the problem and therefore we can’t actually see what it is we’re trying to solve. Take a moment to define the problem.
2 What would be your ideal outcome?
Attempt to articulate what your ideal outcome would be, even if you don’t think this is attainable at the moment, it will help you to visualise a successful result.
3 What would be the worst outcome?
Write down the thing or things which worry you the most.
4 Is this really likely to happen?
Having expressed the worst outcome, remain objective and consider whether this is really likely to happen, or is it just your imagination getting the better of you? Alternatively, if there is a real likelihood that the worst could happen, is it really so bad that you just couldn’t cope with this outcome? Hint: just because you won’t like the outcome, doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t be able to cope.
5 What do you need to do to achieve your ideal or an approximation of your ideal outcome?
Write down the action or series of actions which could bring you closer to your desired outcome. You don’t need to know the whole sequence, but just enough to get started.
6 – Can you think of three other possible solutions?
Write down up to three more possible solutions and the required actions to achieve them.
7 For the wary – discuss your solution with a friend
If you’re still worried that you’re making the wrong decision, discuss your findings with a trusted friend. An objective view from someone else might help put your mind at rest or offer up an alternative solution which you might prefer.
8 Based on your enlightened knowledge, make the decision to take action.
Once you’ve reached this point, there’s really no reason to avoid making the decision. Any further procrastination amounts to avoidance!
9 Don’t feel guilty!
You’ve given the problem your full attention, you’ve considered the options, you’ve even checked in with a friend, so there’s absolutely no reason to feel guilty about your choice of action.
10 Follow through, always being mindful that adjustments may be necessary as you proceed.
Keep working the necessary actions, but, as mentioned earlier, bear in mind that by the very nature of taking action, things will change. Be ready therefore to amend your actions if it proves necessary (for any reason).
Good luck!
I hope you find this post useful and that it helps you move beyond the problems or obstacles that you encounter so that you can reach your desired goals a little easier.
I’ll conclude with these words of Voltaire:
No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post – please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts!
Photo: Nathan Livings
Liz Who Motivates says
Thanks Nicola…very well said! I like your excellent examples and no-nonsense approach to handling such issues 🙂
Nicola says
Thanks Liz! Yes, I’ve often been “accused” of saying it like it is, but sometimes things just need to be laid bare, I think! I hope I’m achieving a level of clarity and simplicity in my blog posts.
Thanks for popping by 🙂